「あなたはわたしの太陽」

I’d take your picture with a polaroid, ‘cos it wouldn’t last, just like you.

RE: Audrey

I met this girl at a chalet, her name was Rachel. It was a chalet filled with people from the scene… friends of the people from the scene… from the university, the polytechnic and the art school… friends of education… It was all jumbled up, rather strangely confusing too, but a familiar faces amongst the crowds.

Rachel had relatively short hair, I think they were just under her ears, silk skin complexion, trendy Blogshop clothes and a tiny little mole on the side of her face… Which was what, perhaps, made her the cutest.

I asked Rachel out for a walk, which she obliged and we spent the night strolling through shady housing streets, dimly-litted, narrow and dry. We took steps, talking, laughing, getting comfortable and soon enough we were closer than we’d thought… we took arms. It must have been then, that I asked her formally, though I can’t quite remember the sly lines I hid my intentions under. She was smart enough to get it though. We had become a couple that night.

We walked back to the chalet where she said she was going to take a shower. (we were sleeping in different rooms) Minutes later, I received a call from Kenneth who had asked me to a drink. I accepted and we went on down to a coffee shop and sat for some beer. Rachel texted me to ask what I was up to, I somehow felt compelled to lie about my situation and told her briefly that I had also just finished my bath and was going to bed, she did not reply then after.

Somehow at the coffee shop, I was fed a joint. Intoxicated and drugged, I started to lose my senses and could barely even see, getting all cross-eyed with double vision. Kenneth said he wanted to go to a club, which I was no longer in a position to do so, I turned him down and made my way back.

I ran into a series of trouble en route to the chalet, which was only natural, seeing how the effects of all these vices were slowly coming to its peak. A security guard had stopped me and denied me entry, asking me a ton of questions which by now I could not hear or understand. He headed back to his office for whatever reasons unknown and I snugged into the back of a convertible and secured myself there until the security guard had disappeared, which I then made my way, hurriedly back to my room.

Moments later, I passed out.

The next day, I found myself horribly hung over, with the brightest of suns, staring my face down like a gun. I phoned Rachel, she wouldn’t pick up. I texted her, she wouldn’t reply. I had found out later in the day, from some of my friends, that she had made the decision to leave me. Apparently, when I thought I had passed out, I was actually wide awake and running rampant in the rooms, being a nuisance and making a complete fool out of myself. Brandon had told me that Rachel saw everything and that I should ask Sean for more details, as Sean was a common friend of Rachel… Actually, Sean’s girlfriend was a common friend of Rachel… And he might have a clue as to why she reacted so drastically.

My God, it had barely even been a day.

I caught up with Sean, demanded, to the point of extortion, to tell me everything he knew. He sat me down and reached for his iPhone, got his Facebook logged on and went up to Rachel’s profile. Rachel had uploaded some pictures in a miscellaneous album, all of them were of me, in very unsatisfactory situations, doing very unglamorous things… further cementing the fact that I was being a nuisance and making a complete fool out of myself. I read through the comments to see what her friends were saying. Like me, she hid her resentment well under cryptic metaphors but was honest enough to mention that she hated the fact that I lied about the shower, when I was out drinking… She had thought that I had also went gallivanting at the club.

I walked out of the room and went looking for Rachel. The search didn’t last that long and soon enough, we were on the verge of crossing paths in the hallway. I walked right up, my eyes dead-centered on her. She looked at me as though staring at bags of potatoes in the market, I was saddened… We brushed pass without even speaking… Like familiar strangers.

I thought to myself, this could not be right. Ten steps later, I turned my head wondering if she’d look back. And by the grace of God, she did… With melancholic eyes of longing…

I took some time to contemplate my actions, made absolutely sure what I had to do was right and what I was going to say to her, would get her back. I came down to where they were having the BBQ. Rachel was by herself, sitting with three other, very ugly men. They were obviously hitting on her. (She had done something to her hair) Ignoring them, I shamelessly sat myself down at that table. Rachel tried to ignore me at first but I broke through her resistance in the end. I held her hand as I told her I was sorry for lying, that much was true, but I sure as Hell did not go to that club with Kenneth. She was happy with the reassurance when I thought what she was truly unhappy about, was my misbehavior when under the influence. We smiled and held hands.

A year or so later, we were last seen, walking through a convention hall, an Anime festival of sorts, my arm around her shoulder, her head leaning back.

We were happy together.

RE: Magic Music

There’s gotta be something magic about singing the first lines to Rilo Kiley’s “I Never” to a girl and have her know the next lines and sing it back to you, then proceeding to pull out the CD from her bag and put it on on the Hi-Fi.

And only that very same magical girl would get excited over a Mix-tape the way Mix-tapes were meant to make you feel… Using the term “Mix-tape”, is magic in itself.

I love you to bits, always and forever.

RE: Every Other Love

It is nice to be remembered, telling you things I no longer remember, but I’m glad you remembered.

If I may be so bold to presume, I’m glad I mattered.

Love, E.Tan.